I recommend the O'Reilly book "Sendmail", by Bryan Costales - http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/sendmail3/index.html
There's really no substitute if you really expect to know the program.
As for you installation/package management questions, I'd start working with a SuSE system now so you can learn them. SuSE's package management is much less flexible than the other distros; in the 9.x and later releases you can only use the GUI interface. (There's always straight RPM, but that doesn't fetch dependencies for you.)
Installing packages off of the distro CD's is how you usually add stuff to a distro, so that's not a significant issue.